Being single today isn’t just lonely—it’s costly. This reality is driving a surprising resurgence of the concept known as the Lavender Marriage, which has taken on a new, intriguing twist in 2025. Originally, people used this concept to conceal LGBTQIA+ identities, but it has resurfaced, especially on TikTok, as a response to the financial and emotional challenges of modern life.
While traditional Lavender Marriages helped individuals survive in a prejudiced society, today’s version prioritizes companionship and financial practicality over romantic entanglements.
Let’s explore this evolving phenomenon, what it means for modern partnerships, and how it reflects broader cultural shifts.
What Is a Lavender Marriage?
Freepik | Lavender marriages provided social and legal protection for secretly LGBTQIA+ individuals.
The term initially described unions where one or both partners secretly belonged to the LGBTQIA+ community. These marriages allowed individuals to conform to societal expectations, avoid discrimination, and gain legal and financial stability. Historians often link these arrangements to Hollywood’s Golden Age, when queer stars used them to safeguard their public image and careers.
In 2025, people have reimagined the term. On platforms like TikTok, young individuals are embracing Lavender Marriage as a practical solution to economic woes, loneliness, and societal pressures surrounding love and relationships.
TikTok’s Influence on the Revival
Queer content creator Robbie Scott revived the concept by offering his "applications" for a non-romantic marriage. In his viral video, Scott quipped, “I can be your husband, wife, or even your dog—whatever you need. Just marry me so we can afford a mortgage, taxes, and utilities.” His tongue-in-cheek approach struck a chord with countless viewers who struggle with the financial and emotional challenges of adult life.
For many, these posts reflect the harsh realities of the modern economy rather than mere jokes. Skyrocketing housing costs, student loans, and job insecurity make the idea of partnering for practicality instead of passion increasingly relevant.
The Practical Side of Partnerships
Today’s Lavender Marriages attract people because they focus on financial and emotional security. Many individuals believe that tying economic stability to something as unpredictable as romantic love is impractical. By clearly separating financial partnerships from romantic relationships, these unions offer a new way to achieve stability without the complications of traditional relationships.
Key benefits include:
1. Shared Expenses - Partners split the rent, utilities, and other costs in an increasingly expensive world.
2. Companionship - Individuals gain a reliable partner for life’s challenges without romantic pressures.
3. Freedom- Partners maintain individual romantic lives while building a stable financial foundation.
Criticism and Cultural Reflection
While this concept has sparked conversation, it has also faced controversy. Some critics argue that rebranding Lavender Marriage diminishes its historical significance, which was deeply rooted in the struggles of the LGBTQIA+ community. Sociologist Jennifer Gunsaullus points out, “The original Lavender Marriages were about survival in a hostile environment. Using the term today without acknowledging this history risks erasing those struggles.”
However, others believe it represents an evolution of the term’s original purpose. Relationship therapist Casey Tanner notes, “These partnerships still challenge societal norms. They highlight how outdated expectations about love, marriage, and financial stability continue to shape our lives.”
Modern Lavender Marriage
Freepik | Challenging the traditional fusion of love, sex, and finances, lavender marriages offer a new way to connect.
In many ways, this revival challenges traditional relationships. The idea that marriage must combine love, sex, and finances is becoming increasingly restrictive. By separating these aspects, modern Lavender Marriages provide a fresh perspective on building meaningful connections.
Unlike historical counterparts, today’s Lavender Marriages do not attempt to fit conventional molds. They highlight an alternative that prioritizes shared goals, mutual support, and personal autonomy over societal expectations.
The Broader Implications for Relationships
The resurgence of Lavender Marriage goes beyond financial survival; it makes a statement about shifting relationship norms. It challenges the notion that romantic and financial stability must always go hand in hand. By choosing partnerships based on mutual understanding and support, individuals are redefining what it means to build a life together.
This trend also raises questions about the societal structures that make marriage such a crucial institution for economic security. In an ideal world, people wouldn’t need a formal union to access these benefits. However, until systemic changes occur, creative solutions like Lavender Marriage continue to gain traction.
A Trend or a Turning Point?
While many TikTok posts seem playful, they address deeper issues such as rising costs, loneliness, and evolving attitudes toward love. Whether or not Lavender Marriages become a widespread practice, they have undeniably sparked important conversations about the changing nature of relationships.
As financial pressures and traditional norms collide, this modern take on Lavender Marriage offers insight into how young people are reshaping the rules of love, partnership, and survival. By focusing on practicality and shared goals, these partnerships might provide a blueprint for a more flexible and sustainable future.
